Feb 16, 2007

Thrii Wii games micro-reviewed

Them last couple of months have been deeply and irreversibly influenced by Nintendo's quirky Wii console; the first current-gen console I have ever (ever) owned. Also, the first console/PC/handheld/whatever that made me buy not one but two whole games for 60 euros each, which -let's face it- might be a wise move from a gnome's liver point of view, but economically proved to be quite the disaster. Anyway, financial woes aside, what follows is a nice compact post swiftly micro-reviewing said games along with Wii Sports, the game only the Japanese are unfairly made to pay for...

The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess

Ahh, yes. Let's start off with the big one. The game everybody loves and praises, allegedly even people (or gnomes) that don't care much for Zelda. The Wii killer-app. The game that scored an impressive 95% over @ metacritic. Well, did I like it? Of course I did. The scope is truly epic, the art direction just fantastic, the gameplay varied, the story interesting and the controls much better than expected. Did I absolutely love it and declare it the best game evah!!1!, then? Uhm, no, not quite, even though I've spent less than 25 hours playing it and my judgement is far from final. Still, due to some weird reason, perhaps even due to severe lack of time, I haven't really gotten into the game. It still feels sort of consoley. But, please, don't get me wrong. I do see the sheer brilliance of the thing and did definitely enjoy many of the puzzles and set pieces. It's just, well, it's... it's just not as good as Beyond Good and Evil. There, I said it. More on the game, after I finish it, which according to my rough calculations should be sometime in mid-August.

Rayman Raving Rabbids

Rayman was an excellent platformer for the Atari Jaguar, Rayman 2 another excellent platformer for Sega's Dreamcast and Rayman Raving Rabbids the first properly funny thing to hit the Wii. This collection of mini-games, you see, as any old youtube search should easily prove, is the funniest thing since Monkey Island, with the only possible exception being them Sam & Max games.The 60 odd mini-games featured, most of which are extremely enjoyable (with 3-4 infuriating and badly designed exceptions), have you swinging the Wiimote like a lunatic, shooting Sam Fisher-esque rabbits in (on-rails) FPS style, getting all sado-masochistic with the demented creatures, dancing to ridiculous disco tunes and generally laughing your arse off. If only it were a bit more polished and offered a greater variety of mini-games, it would be an absolute must-buy, especially for people with at least one friend.

Wii Sports

Unexpectedly, Wii Sports is the game I've played the most. I think I have actually played it for over 70 hours, and, despite it's many shortcomings, I have enjoyed each and every one of them. Wii Sports, besides totally revolutionizing the way sports games are played (you know, by actually ...uhm... moving), is the perfect multi-player game, even beating Sensi on the Amiga, and also a way to get some much-needed light exercise while having fun. As for the included sports, well, Tennis is great, Golf is brilliant but too short, Bowling is okay, Baseball is pointless and Boxing is absolutely dreadful and unresponsive. The included mini-games are a nice diversion and so is the daily training/testing bit. Now, if Wii Sports definitely needed something, this would have to be online multiplayer. Then again, I haven't even managed to connect my Wii to a wireless network yet...

Related @ Gnome's Lair: Sam and Max get Wii-ed?, 3 forthcoming Wii games, Wii vs. Gamecube

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  1. I'm absolutely stunned by the brilliance of this post!!!

    I'm already sold on the Wii (hopefully ETA in FK's home, May 2007)

    But this is making it more appealing....

    Now you've summed up those three... (which I already wanted in the following order... 1.) Wii Sports, 2.) Zelda 3.) Rayman)

    I now need your thoughts on Red Steel... I know this will limit your Tequila budget, but perhaps ypu could rent or borrow it?

    God, I was almost so bowled over by this post that I forgot to mention that I've got my 'big one' on show over at the Dreamcast Junkyard... (http://www.thedreamcastjunkyard.tk)

    Go and take a peak...

  2. ...now i want a Wii all over again, i thought i could get through at least one weekend not wanting one, and then you go and micro review three killer games.......

    (shakes piggy bank furiously....)

  3. Hmmm, Red Steel, a friend has it and I must admit it wasn't such a great game really. The graphics are ok, the controls very good, but the game is rather dull and VERY unpolished. Oh, and two-player split-screen action is a travesty.... Now... Guess I'd better visit the DCJ...

    Elderly dear, don't you think we should run the piggy-bank through the 8-bit scientific testing thingy? Might help you know... Alternatively steal yourself a Wii. It's the wise thing to do...

  4. God! The realisation that I might soon own a Wii due to the brilliant excuse of turning 40 and being able to ask for anything is becoming an increasingly exciting thought...

    I also want a new tattoo (which is a self indulgent and uneconomic extravagance) but again the 4o thing lets me get away with it!!!

    God growing older is going to be such fun!!!

  5. Steal heavnes no!!

    ..(pushes large alchemists stone into the middle of Gnome sitting room.....)

    ...nope theres another way...

    (starts rubbing stone.....)

  6. So, FK, you'll be hitting 40 soon, huh? And when would your birthday be, if I may ask, oh most Wii buying one? :)

    Alchemists or philosophers stone? Hmm... Hope it's safe...

  7. ..sure it's safe, I mean what could possibly go wrong....??

    ....right, yes your quite correct, exercise caution in all things....

    (reads instruction manual.....)

  8. See? Doesn't it all feel safe and proper now? That's what manuals are for anyway...

  9. ..yes, yes your right I should know by now... thank you Gnome, the voice of maturity and reason rings out clearly......

    ..though im am having some difficulty in reading the ancient sanskript text....

    (puts on reading glasses, hold manual sideways.....)

  10. Sanskript? It was supposed to be hindu, really... Anyway, this prooves that the pictorial edition was a wise choice.

  11. ...(looks over glasses as Gnome hands him the pictorial version....)

    why yes, now that is very handy...

    right... well according to this, it's time for dress up again.... cloaks and hoodies....

    (pair dress in cloaks, pull hoods over their head...)

    ..right judging from this we should have three naked bodies hanging upside over the stone...

    ....this is going to be quite the challenge.. maybe i could make a large cash withdrawal on my credit card instead...

  12. Naked bodies aren't naked corpses of course right? Good. Then why are they hanging?

    Oh, dear. They are dead aren't they?


    Seems this pictorial did mix things up.

    (wears cloak and suspenders)

  13. ...stop skipping through the pages, the thing won't work if you keep skipping, now take off the supsender we won't be needing those till Chapter 3......

    ...erm did the naked bodies just appear.. or had you some already?

    (pokes hanging corpse....)

    this ones pretty fresh....

  14. I was pretty sure you summoned them or smething... Must have been that weird text, surely.

    (takes of suspenders)

    Nothing to worry about. I'm a warding-mage/ganinja multiclass character! Tada!

  15. ...(looks around at crystal cave... the waterfall of tequila and the naked ice maidens.....)

    gnome I think you may be overdoing it slightly......