Oct 1, 2007

The B-Game Competition Mega mini Review Part II

Part I - Part II - Part III
Enough with the introductions, on with reviewing more of these lovably bizarre B-Games. Mind you, you can still download them here (for free obviously) and as an added perk vote for your favorite.

Mondo Medicals
Welcome to Mondo Medicals, the weirdest game of the competition and the first first-person utterly illogical puzzler I've ever played. A game where figuring out what the instructions mean can be a herculean task. A game with 8 bastard levels, I simply can't describe without spoiling. Just trust me and download it. It's trippy as hell.

It's multiplayer Pong with a touch of football, accelerating paddles, lovely music and distinctly retro graphics. I like it. Also like the idea of 4 people playing against each other on a single keyboard. Unfortunately though no single player mode has been included.

Cottage of Doom
Another classic b-movie sub genre, another B-Game for the compo, and I just couldn't be happier with it. Really. Cottage of Doom, you see, is an excellent action game with strategic elements, that's all about zombies and typically destroying them with a shotgun. The player has to barricade/defend the wooden building shown above, kill said zombies and survive while admiring the pixel-artsy graphics and 16-bitsy sounds and having tremendous fun. Happily, the game also sports one of the best B-Game introductions and even a traditional zombie-flick poster. A corker.

Dump Jumper
It's definitely got its moments, a decent joke and a certain scatological appeal, but I just didn't enjoy it. Then again, we 're not all the same, are we?

Ultra violent and an obviously sarcastic tribute to Planet Terror, Gunlimb is an action game (or is it a shmup of sorts?) worth your downloading effort. From the weird control method, to the crude cinematics between levels and silly bosses Gunlimb will make sure you have a good time shooting tons of surreal enemies and watching their dismembered bodies scatter all over the screen. Apparently the action is frenetic too.

The Lighthouse Castle
A truly simple game with pleasing visuals, that's not offering much more than your average flash freebie. Then again it's the closest thing to a disaster b-game and that should mean something...

Bloody Landlord
At last! A B-Game with a proper slasher b-movie plot, psychotic killing, machetes, screaming students and buckets of blood, with you the player starring as the homicidal maniac. Lovely. The game, a stealth-action hybrid, is played on a single heavily forested screen with you chasing a variety of cute students around and taking them out one by one, if possibly without being spotted. The trees should help in your hiding attempts, though infuriatingly they might just provide the cover these youngsters need to escape and bring the police. Taxing yet fair gameplay, nice visuals, decent humor and a game you have to try.

Fuck Typing
Try to imagine Mario Teaches Typing without Mario or any teaching bits whatsoever. Now, add some very inspired swearing and you got Fuck Typing. It's a novelty thing, doesn't last very long, but a fuckselling dildobuyer is up there with you smell of elderberries. Apparently a fine single player typing battle thingy too.

It's a nice little Pong clone with a few power-ups and a fancy background and not much else really. Can't see much B-gameness in it, though admittedly Boink can be quite entertaining.

Captain Cool
Yep, it's social satire time, this time focusing on stereotypical pre-yuppie cool kids, bullying people and driving flashy cars. Unfortunately the game doesn't play that well (mainly due to sluggish controls), but both the humor and the graphics are good. Oh, and the music is excellent.

Related @ Gnome's Lair: 10 unsung Indiana Jones games, HPL's Commonplace Book Project, World Basketball Manager


  1. free free free...


    free free free... feckin free


  2. Owwww, my ego.
    Seriously though, these are great. It's nice to see that someone is enjoying the fruits of this competition (if not exactly my contribution).

  3. Average Higgins is the best user name I've ever seen...

    As for the games, I liked the sweary one...

  4. Oh, yes, well, average higgins, I wouldn't care about me... Really. Uhm... yes. Thanks for dropping by and the kind words though...

    (ugh... that was awkward)

    Glad you did Father, glad you did... :)

  5. (elderly leave the shower singing..

    "We are the champions.. we are the cham...."

    (covers up quickly.....goes red faced.... runs back in shower...shouts out to Gnome)

    Gnome for heavens sake, warn me before you use the transportation spell... jeez...!

  6. Sorry, didn't mean to create any awkwardness. Just making a joke.

  7. But, I didn't Elderly dear. Must have autofired or something... Now, let's listen some more to your Queen singing...

    Of course average higgins. Please don't start feeling akward yourself... It would be most akward indeed. BTW, have you come up with more games?

  8. Part III! Part III! We want Part III! :)

  9. It's coming, it's coming....

  10. It's like a heck of an arcade world with these games.