Dec 21, 2006

Neil Gaiman presents: I Cthulhu

The GameSetWatch comments sections, almost comparable to the commenting orgy dungeons over at The Elderly Gamer, can -only when the stars are right of course- reveal the most brilliant of links. Links like this one; the link that will take you to Neil Gaiman's hilarious I Cthulhu short story. It starts a bit like this:

Cthulhu, they call me. Great Cthulhu.

Nobody can pronounce it right.

Are you writing this down? Every word? Good. Where shall I start…mm?

Very well, then. The beginning. Write this down, Whateley.

I was spawned uncounted aeons ago, in the dark mists of Khhaa’yngnaiih (no, of course I don’t know how to spell it. Write it as it sounds), of nameless nightmare parents, under a gibbous moon. It wasn’t the moon of this planet, of course, it was a real moon. On some nights it filled over half the sky and as it rose you could watch the crimson blood drip and trickle down its bloated face, staining it red, until at its height it bathed the swamps and towers in a gory dead red light.

Those were the days.

Now, read the rest someplace else.

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  1. "My father was consumed by my mother as soon as he had fertilized her and she, in her turn, was eaten by myself at my birth. That is my first memory, as it happens. Squirming my way out of my mother, the gamy taste of her still in my tentacles."

    Ha Ha.. This is my kinda' stuff... aa aaaah wait.. eeewwwwwhh .. maybe not..

  2. Oh... come on... It's soo sweet...

  3. ...i unfortunately (according to my mother) was found under a cabbage..... i can remember caterpillars and aphids.... hardly an auspicious start to life...


    thank you for thine elegant comparison and edifying link.. it has lightened my chlorophyll significantly......

  4. A cabbage? No storks? But it was an unnamed one hopefully... right?

    (gnome ponders on elderly's immediate post-natal memories and is quite impressed)

    Welcome you. Always a nice thing to lighten...