Jul 28, 2006

Tough Shit & other Turds

Being in such a fierce scatological frenzy that I recently adopted three lovable young Turds (namely Tough Shit, Count Crapula and Jack Shit), I couldn't help but notice that the Turds! free online game collection is at last completed. And available for free. Of course.

Turd Heroes: Men in Cack

Immerse yourself in deep shit by diving right here. Beside the brilliant Donkey Kong clone (Donkey Pong, that is) I have already reviewed, you'll find Bogger, Dungbeetle Rally, Poobert and the arcade-style beat 'em up Turd Heroes: Men in Cack.

In the extreme case though, you too, oh turd loving reader, would like to adopt one of the lovely creatures yourself (for example by clicking here), be sure to follow the official shit handling tips. They are definitely wise and range from the obvious "do not flush away this Turd, it's not trained to come back", to the important "do not return this turd to its place of birth, you will loose friends", to the rather surreal "do not place this Turd near toilet paper, as the shock may cause it deep distress".

The Lord of the Rims

Related @ Gnome's Lair: Flash For Fun, Escape the Dragon's Dungeon, 60+ brilliant free games

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  1. ............. (opens windows.......)

  2. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nGeVqI0mtmA

    Enough said.

    I've been a bad blogger buddy lately. Mr. Gnome has been commenting on my site and I haven't done the same for him (Or Elderly too.) Please forgive me (Begins electric shock treatment on nipples.)

  3. Ah, thanks Elderly, needed that.

    Gamer C... Quite a shitty wake-up video this one... Funny too... Oh, and you're forgiven, as long as you stay away from Elderly's S&M porn...

  4. (disconnects the battery supply to GamerC's nipples)

    the elderly would like to re-iterate that he in no way condones or take responsibility for any subliminal S&M influences arising from the posting of sprayed on latex costumes.

    Any suggestion to the contrary is merely the highly active imagination of the viewer. In this case a Gnome......and we all know what their like.

    (sprays some air-freshner around the room)

    spsssst spssssssst

  5. But how can you be sure it was sprayed on latex? Truth is you can't... Thus your whole logical construct falls to the ground, forcing open a secret door and tons f S&M gear...


  6. ........ but!.... secret door? what secret door?
    wait...your just using an imaginary escape device to avoid the main subject.... surely thats against the rules...... (checks rules)

  7. LOL, That turd figure is great. All this turn talk reminds me of that poo character from south park. It was hilarious

  8. You are absolutely right, oh wisest of the Elderly, an imaginary escape device is indeed against the rules. Only, this one is very real, thus very much usable...

    Tahir, it's rather exhilarating that more people believe tat Mr. Hanky is the ultimate Christmas character... :)

    Tomleece, glad you enjoyed it mate...

  9. (elderly falls threw the imaginary secret trap door........)

  10. (gnome has already placed imaginary pillows, ready to absorb Elderly's imaginary fall through the imaginary trap door. Imagina that)

  11. gnome you think of everything..... bloody amazing creature what you are....

    (snuggles into pillows.........)

  12. Anything else I could get you? A waitress? A nurse? A White Dwarf?

  13. (puts on earmuffs) you could send the waitress down...... if it's not too much trouble..

  14. Nope. No problem. As long as you're alright with her getting over there... I mean.. she does smell funny... Sure you'd rather not have the White Dwarf?

  15. what the white dwarfs a female!!!!.... i suppose your were keeping that for a surprise...... i dunno gnome, like she has a beard.....

  16. Well, we can always save that off you know...