Oct 10, 2007

The B-Game Competition Mega mini Review Part III

Part I - Part II - Part III
Well, dear unimpressed and not particularly numerous readers, it had to come to this: the third and sadly final part of the B-Game Competition mini reviewing marathon, sporting another bunch of 10 weird and lovely freeware games. Hopefully you still remember that you can download all 29 of them compo games right here and that, should you be nice enough, can still visit TIG Source and thank them for organizing the whole thing. Now, without further ado, let's just get on with it.

The B-Game equivalent of Godzilla and Rampage's spiritual spawn, this is a tough yet fun city destroying little game. Scale buildings, try to bring them down, avoid a variety of missiles, panic, hit random buttons and eat a marine or two, in a game that brings back those cherished arcade memories. Not a visual masterpiece by any means, mind you, though we obviously don't care and collectively admire the central sprite. Right? Right. Oh, yes, And Toadzilla Are You!

Speed Bear
Speed Bear is a deceptively simple game, with simple highly stylized graphics, that starts by being nothing more than a leisurely stroll through a Pac-Man-esque labyrinth, where all you have to do is shoot some obstacles (along with a few not very menacing beasties), collect treasures and head for the exit. Then, quite suddenly I must admit, it just turns into a frenzied race for escape that requires sharp reflexes and swift tactical decisions. Apparently the game also features bears in boats. Go figure.

Rap Attack: 2pacalypse Now
It's time for me to be unfair. Rap Attack, you see, is an imaginative mix of Metal Slug and Street Fighter 2 gameplay, with excellent pixel art and some lovely rap lyrics/music/story, that I will never be able to appreciate or praise. Unfortunately I'm desperately shit at it and simply can't enjoy the thing... Tsk, tsk.

Space Barnacle
Not that Metroid isn't b-movie-ish enough, but Space Barnacle is the only true platform action exploration B-Game ever created, and it comes complete with a minimal yet cheesy story appropriately set in space. Happily it's a brilliant game too. The retro styled graphics are excellent, the music is varied, its style impeccable and the controls spot-on. As for the exploration and power-up discovering bits they are easily comparable to Metroid's. Yes, it's that good; not that huge, but really good. The second best game of the compo really.

Hickbilly Bride
Making fun of rednecks, are we? Apparently, yes, or that's what Hickbilly Bride is all about. Now, despite not being comfortable with stereotypes of any sort, I must admit I appreciated the game's humor and more importantly truly enjoyed Hickbilly Bride in all its 4 fps, Atari 2600 styled graphics and country music glory. The game uses only three buttons (left, right, fire) but shockingly is not another action thingy. It's a smart and immensely enjoyable puzzler, thus an essential download.

Rover Race
The rover has made it to Mars and now you, oh bravest of players, have to guide it to safety and STOP signs, while avoiding fires, ghosts and a variety of lethal and/or non-lethal obstacles. Problem (good thing?) is you are positioned on Earth and this means that there will be a delay between the time you press a button and the time you will see the already unresponsive Rover's reaction! Sounds hopeless, I know, but after a few tries this infuriatingly difficult game starts being beatable and the levels (well, the first few at least) seem manageable. Fun even! Perfect learning curve, addictive gameplay and an absolute must try.

Tecnojam Dance 34k
After all these years of enjoying the demoscene and I'm still impressed by 34k games. Silly me... Anyway, this one in particular looks fine, comes with excellent and lovably silly music and in a humble 12 MB archive. Lovely, and even though I am not dexterous or hardcore enough to master it, I'm sure it's a fine finger dancing rhythm game.

Save the President
Simple as that, really. Shoot ninjas, bears, zombies and unidentifiable stuff in order to save the president and avoid having him killed. Uhm, yes. Also a pretty decent action movie parody with interesting visuals and good controls. It's extremely short and easy too.

Funny Cat
Despite the far too obvious Garfield references and the overly simplistic game mechanics, Funny Cat is a brilliant time sink sporting smart graphics and hardcore music. All you have to do is concentrate and press either Right Shift (food) or Q (not food). See how many points you can score in 2 minutes and remember what high-scores were all about.

Brain Drain
Judging from Mother Brain and Brain from The Pinky & The Brain Show, brains can be dangerous nasty little things, and more so when they are of the flying, bent on conquering the world sort. In Brain Drain the player unsurprisingly controls one such brain and tries to grab more human brains, control them (or the pink little clouds that represent them, actually) and avoid a variety of anti-brain projectiles by using an enjoyably fiddly mouse/keyboard control method and looking at some not particularly inspired graphics. Not exactly my kind of game, but definitely worth a try.

Related @ Gnome's Lair: Text is King, TOP 7 non-slutty female game characters, Call of Cthulhu games


  1. "...and the award for dilligence in uncovering freebie independent gaming gems goes to... *tears open golden envelope* GNOME!!!!

    Please step up for your acceptance speech... *whispers loudly* Don't forget to mention a certain rotund cleric....

  2. Ah, yes... yes.. YES! Thank you... I'm touched, but I have to thank my mom, daddy, my luv and of course a certain Manchunian gangsta cleric!

    (hands award to Tim, for he is the true indy games master)

    Thanks Father! Here, have a beer!

  3. Rap Attack was unique but I found it too hard.

    Will try Toadzilla, seems fun to me (have no idea why I missed it out the last time I went to TIG Source)

  4. Must have been its toad stealth abilities apparently. Really though, why not give Space Barnacle a try? It's the best of this bunch.

  5. OMFG! Toadzilla looks awesome! (I think now is a good to tell you that I have a thing for toads...)

    As for Save the President, it reminds me of a certain NES game which name I can't seem to recall right now. All I can remember is the introduction screen:

    "The president has been kidnapped by ninjas! (OMG!)

    Are you a bad enough dude to rescue him?"


    *searches the so called interweb...*

    I've found it! It's called Bad Dudes and the ending is even better:

    "Hey dudes, thanks for rescuing me. Let's go for a burger... Ha! Ha! HA!"

    Here, have a look:


  6. Nice :)

    Gnome, you should change your screenshot of Funny Cat - kinda give it away a bit. No bit deal though! I've enjoyed reading these roundups!

  7. You dear Nebacha are just amazing! How'd you spot such an obscure reference is beyond me... I salute you!

    And bow...


    Glad you enjoyed the round-ups Terry, though not sure if I should change said pic. Just gimme a moment to think things over ... ;) Oh, and keep up the great indy gaming work mate!

  8. most excellent coverage Gnome.. thank you for giving us all this opportunity to be truly entertained and constantly amazed at where the time has disappeared...

    (performs ancient ancestral Irish Jig... in honour of the dilligence awards)

  9. OK, it's Space Barnacles time this weekend :)

  10. (video tapes ancestral Irish Jig)

    Ok, that was great Elderly. Thank you. The kids will surely love it...

    Oh, you'll love it roys!, really!

  11. (adjusts kilt..)...twere nothing.... just check the footage.... dont' want any knickers shots showing up...

  12. Don't worry we're only producing soft-porn stuff... Did I say porn? Well, I meant folk-documentaries. Definitely.

  13. ..a documentary?... wow!!.. all those years of leaping and giggling and sidestepping has finally paid off... thank you Gnome, I don't know how to thank you..... I know? the county Kilkenny sharp objects jig... give me a minute... i need to prepare some sharp objects

  14. Jayzus! I'm blind! I just caught sight of Elderly's tackle when he was doing the jig...

    Did you have to wear a kilt???

    I am (for once) speechless...

  15. (elderly turns red with embarassment...)

    i aint doin the sharp objects dance when Fk's looking

  16. Understandable. Father, please look at your brand new PSP... Mr. Elderly, please, do go on...

  17. (arranges sharp object, pins, daggers, broken glass, paris hiltons elbow.......)

    ok.. wish me luck..

    (elderly starts dance, dexterously jumping and jiggin through the maze of sharp objects.......)

  18. *LMAO* @ Rap attack.

    That game looks as awful as the rappers who star in it. Though I may download and play it for the chance to beat up Fiddy Cent if nothing else.

  19. Wait Elderly, wait... We gotta advertise, check the sound and prepare the cameras.



    Oh, come on J... Rap aint *that* bad :)