Jun 15, 2007

Tomb Raider Anniversary: the obligatory nude patch

Truth be said, us gamers of the male variety can be a really sad bunch. I mean, getting excited by Lara? That's just pathetic. Then again, it could really be worse... It could be raining, or -heavens forbid- we might just see Lara semi-nude, lose what's left of our morality and faint. Thankfully then, the latest nude patch for Ms. Croft, the one for the rather brilliant Tomb Raider Anniversary game, is grotesque enough to put anyone's fantasies to sleep. Try it out here, horrify your friends, forget your anatomy, shock your visual artists and irritate the puritans.

On a more serious note and regarding said puritans, I just can't see how a pair of tits can be considered as more dangerous, corrupting, evil and/or immoral than a pair of guns. Or to put it the way a certain female modder and creator of the Oblivion Topless mod put it while describing her own mod: "The file included removes the bra welded to the skin of females of all races, showing things as most people know they are in the real world after removing upper body clothing. It will not show every female in the game as topless. I do this because I hate government, society, whatever [for] forcing companies to protect our innocent population from seeing those evil dirty things 50% of them posses personally anyways".

Now, while I'm still preparing my Sex, Lies & Video Games post, do read a most interesting and quite relevant article over at The Escapist. It's called The Breasts that Broke the Game, it is.

Related @ Gnome's Lair: Now, THIS is really sick, top non-slutty female game characters, UT 2004: Hollow Moon


  1. This is why I come to this blog... for the video game pr0n!

  2. Ah, but of course.. that's what people are looking for these days, after all...

  3. Haha, I really hope you finish that "Sex, Lies & Video Games" post, and that it features a lot of pictures...

  4. Yes, pictures. You are right. Uhm, better get stashing them...

  5. I started a huge Nudity in Games thread back at insertcredit ages ago, but it was accidently deleted and the follow-up was missing many of the great images. You can still see the second attempt here, even if many images are broken now:


    To help you out some more, here are some resources we used:

    The Top Ten Naughtiest Games of all time (bit out-dated now):


    A collection of sexual moments in videogame history (still updates occasionally):


    And a site dedicated to nude skins, with a nice write-up of each one (some are official):


    I hope these help you write the ultimate article on the subject.

  6. Fantastic list Cycle! And I got to see the Ecstatica nudie bits too! Brilliant! Thank you so much... Oh, and let me add this blog to the mix:


    Now, I guess I'll just get back at working on the post. Should be ready soon...

  7. ..(stares solemnly at his ps2 disc.......)


    (reserves a seat for the sex, lies and video games post......)

  8. Ahh. Topless Tomb Raider...Life get's better all the time. :)

    Hello Gnome. I was wondering if you could answer a ? for me. Why two graphics cards on some computers? Is that just for Gaming? or do they serve a purpose for graphics work also. I have a Nvidia GeForce 6600Gt and a 3.2 Pent 4 processor with 3 gigs of Ram... upgrading to 2 graphics cards must mean upgrading the processor as well? Also, there must be a heat factor thrown in there somewhere right?

    Thanks my friend... :)

  9. Wow! I got really excited about this... Massively excited even... Then looked at the screenshots... Then questioned why I got really excited... then went to confession.

    There's loads of pr0n out there!

    Why get excited about a nude patch for a video game character? Its shit!

    Now if someone can come up with a nude patch for the Tomb Raider DVDs I'll be really interested...

  10. (stares at Elderly's PS2)

    Wow, it still looks sleek and shiny, doesn't it? Here, have some pop corn!

    Tom, I'll mail you asap.

    Father, you're definitely right. It's just shit. Actually makes Lara look quite a bit like Mr/Ms Garrison from South Park.

    Angelina would indeed be another story...

  11. (still staring at ps2, chewing popcorn... occassionally glancing at lara patch post......)

    sigh!.... they never said life was going to be easy, but what masterplan would it destroy to have a nude patch for the ps2......


  12. I can't elaborate on it, but a nude patch for the PS2 version of Lara's tits, would probably kill 50% of the earth's kitten population... We wouldn't really want that, would we?

    Ice tea?

  13. ice tea would be lovely.... kittens huh... 50% of them isn't a lot though is it.... I mean (considers the dilemna...)

    nude patch for ps2
    elimination of 50% of the Worlds Kitten population.....

    how many kittens for a see-thru t-shirt patch?

  14. I won't answr this bit. Just know it's fluffy, big-eyed, sweet kittens I'm takling about.

  15. so is it possible to have a ps2 patch? c'mon they can do that right? i dont care about the kittens:)

  16. Jerome I'm afraid that patching a PS2 game is more than difficult. Then again, there might be a way... I really don't know.