Apr 30, 2006

The top non-slutty female characters in video games. Ever.

It's always a Top 10, a Top 5 or a Top 100. Not this time though. This is a Top 7, and it's about the Female Game Character; an endangered and usually stripped down to its panties species. Gnome's Lair though is different, as this post will not be about Lula, Lara or any other two-syllable named bimbo. It will be about interesting characters, that even a woman (gasp!) could enjoy...

Number 7: The legendary Ms. Pacman. Not a proper female, I know, but she ...er... does dress like one. If you're into round, yellow, pill-poppers you'll just love the old lady.



Number 6: Princess Peach, ruler of Mushroom Kingdom and Mario's personal fetish. Childish, but also a part of video gaming history. Definitely not a slut.



Number 5: Elaine Marley from the Monkey Island series. Funny, spirited, Ron Gilbert's creation and a governor. Good looking and old fashioned. Won't strip for you, let alone make a naked public appearance.



Number 4: Shodan, from System Shock (and apparently SS2). Call her a slut and she'll fry you; perhaps even destroy earth. An amazing piece of homicidal AI, if I ever saw one and a perfect match for Wintermute.


Number 3: Kerrigan, another villain, and not 100% human either. Great looks (for a Zerg hybrid at least), a member of the order of the abominably nasty and key figure in the best RTS expansion ever: Starcraft Brood War.


Number 2: April Ryan from the Longest Journey and Dreamfall. Uniter of worlds and magically inclined, April is also a talented and rather 'alternative' girl from the future, who just so happens to star in adventure games. Recently into hot arcade action too.

Number 1: Jade, the star of the amazing Beyond Good and Evil action-adventure game. She has style, flair, good looks and a kind heart (Ooooh! that's sweet). She's also a revolutionary. Like Rosa Luxembourg only with green lips. Just have a look at this great game. Control each and every Jade's action. Follow the link.

. . . . . . . . .

Related Gnome's Lair articles: Lula 3d review, Spooks review, 30+ hand picked free games, the Warhammer video games feature



Related Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

32 comments:

  1. That picture next to Elaine Marley is Kate Capsize. Just so's you know.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oh dear, you are so right... What a cickup. I'll just fix it. Thanks a lot, mate!

    ReplyDelete
  3. There, fixed. Thanks anonymous :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. You forgot Cortana - the AI construct from the Pillar of Autumn. She ain't no slut - sassy, on the ball and straight to the point!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Hmm..intersting. Never heard of that bitch though :)

    Thanks tomleece.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Aha. I see! Never touched this allegedly brill game...

    ReplyDelete
  7. How about Bombette?
    She's also a revolutionary, of a very explosive kind!

    ReplyDelete
  8. By the way, I did a similar feature for our magazine (Strana Igr, or GameLand, just for you to know), and here's who I come up with (in no particular order):
    - Samus Aran (Metroid)
    - Ravel ((Planescape: Torment)
    - (honorable mention) Baba Yaga (different games)
    - Fatima Doohan (Anachronox)
    - Deionarra (Planescape: Torment)
    - Rosella/Valanice (King's Quest)
    - Jennifer Simpson (Clock Tower)
    - Alice (American McGee's Alice)
    - Sarah Kerrigan (Starcraft)
    - Shodan (System Shock)
    - Grace Nakimura (Gabriel Knight)
    - Nicole Collard (Broken Sword)
    - Ms. Pac-man
    - Bombette (Paper Mario)
    The article (in Russian, as it is) can be found
    here.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Very intersting... Thanks a lot Chentzilla. And yes, Grace would make an excellent addition.

    ReplyDelete
  10. You might also find this of interest. This is real women's opinion on "digital women", as they call them.
    I found this resource when working on the article.

    ReplyDelete
  11. So, tell me, as you apparently are from Russia, in which city do you live? (you, lucky you)

    ReplyDelete
  12. Oh, and thanks for the link too...

    ReplyDelete
  13. Why the interest?
    It's Moscow now, but I come from Perm.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Because the (two) Russian cities I've seen were breathtaking... And Moscow was extremely interesting. And I'm interested in cities altogether... That's about it I guess.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Great! Now do the slutty ones.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Not a bad idea this....

    ReplyDelete
  17. Haha lmao nice title gnome! now im going to read the artical. btw system shock 2 rules!

    ReplyDelete
  18. Yeah Wintermute and Shodan should totally date.

    ReplyDelete
  19. I've been trying to get them in touch, you know. Apparently they are far too busy scheming. :(

    ReplyDelete
  20. Another great female character is Alyx Vance (Half Life 2): realistic-looking and intelligent, though not a playable character.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Hmmm...I guess so, besides HL2 is all-around great...

    ReplyDelete
  22. No sorry Alyx Vance is a slut

    ReplyDelete
  23. You say so? Interesting...

    ReplyDelete
  24. How is she portrayed within the game as a slut? She doesn't groan when she climbs up ledges, nor does she bend over excessively for the player etc. She is portrayed more or less as your average woman-with as little sexual innuendo as possible.

    (Although I suppose it's the player's discretion as to what angle she is viewed at, although that it is not the developer's intention)

    Kaikara

    ReplyDelete
  25. Kaikara,

    I do believe you are absolutely right, and with a nice humorous twist too, but I do believe drewboy was kidding...

    Cheers

    ReplyDelete
  26. I really liked Laura, the protagonist of D2 for dreamcast... A terrifically weird and spooky adventure, where Laura remains mute while discovering what happened when her plane crash landed in arctic Canada.
    wikipedia entry

    ReplyDelete
  27. Amazing! A pure Dreamcast heroin... She seems excellent and quite interesting. Quite as expected.

    Thanks a ton my anonymous friend.

    ReplyDelete
  28. But Jade wears purple knickers... SLUT.

    ReplyDelete
  29. Well, she could 'ave been wearing suspenders you know... Still, I see wisdom in your point...

    ReplyDelete
  30. Nice list, gnome, but I agree that Samus Aran (the Metroid series) deserves a place on this list also. Not only is Samus not a slut, but to my knowledge, she's never even been marketed as a sex object, in the hopes of parting horny boy gamers from their money.

    Similarly, if/when you do the "revised, expanded, updated list", I would hope to see Bastila Shan from the original "Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic" game. Bioware managed to make her a potential love interest without ever going the easy "sexy boytoy" route.

    ReplyDelete
  31. Can't say you're wrong on the Samus front, as she also one of the few characters whose gender (even in a stereotypical manner) affects the storyline/gameplay of the Metroid series.

    As for Bastila Shan... don't know yet... I must shamefully admit to only having played KOTOR for a few hours... I'll check it out though... Definitely.

    The updated list.. hmmm... could be a good idea...

    ReplyDelete